Death penalty exceptions

In general I am against the Death Penalty. However, in some key cases, I am willing to make exceptions.

My Positions

1. Web developers who default to white-themed websites. You are actual monsters. It might look lovely in your fancy designer studio apartment, but when I open your site at 3 a.m., after browsing a series of dark-themed sites, it is like taking a flash-bang to the face. An infinite number of fucks be upon you, you ignorant scum. The prefers-color-scheme media query has existed since 2019. There is no excuse.
2. Video game developers who:

1. Include unskippable cutscenes. Yes, yes, it's very nice. Or it was the first time. Now I hate it, and you, and your children unto the tenth generation.
2. Prevent gameplay until I have endured lengthy unskippable cutscenes. If storytelling is your primary goal, consider making a film. Players are here to play games.

1. Double death penalty for those who, after a lengthy unskippable cutscene, allow you to "play" a sequence in which you walk slowly forward for about two minutes before triggering yet another unskippable cutscene. May your genitals wither and fall off at an awkward moment.
   3. Use flash or fade-to-white effects, particularly during unskippable scenes (see web developers, above).
   4. Implement timed dialogue choices. Requiring players to read quickly and decide under pressure, often with minimal context, disproportionately affects players with dyslexia or other reading difficulties. You need to go and step into a fire and have a nap. Those who compound this with poorly or ambiguously worded options, such that the thing your character says bears no relation to the thing you selected, should be locked in a room with Piers Morgan for 24 hours before the fire nap.
   5. Make me read for more than fifteen seconds. As if what gamers really want to do with their £2,000 graphics cards is spend hours reading poorly written backstory, lore, journals, books, and audio logs, presented in theme-appropriate, borderline-illegible fonts, just to have the faintest idea of what is going on in the story. If I had wanted to read a book, I would not have chosen video games over getting an education.
   6. Bind "skip" and "confirm" to the same button, so that the only way to skip the cutscene is to risk accidentally accepting the quest, selling the item, or deleting the save.
   3. People who, at a restaurant, insist that you try some of whatever they ordered, and imply that if you don't want to, and equally don't want to share your own meal with them, you are some kind of heartless monster. I chose my meal because it is what I wanted to eat. It is not part of your impromptu buffet. I only desire that we may be better strangers.
   4. People who want you to look at multiple photographs of their child, whom you do not know and have never met. I do not care. My feigned interest extends exactly one photograph, and I suspect you know that, because before you had the thing, you were as interested in other people's little germ factories as I am now.
   5. Any film director, producer, or studio executive who has the opportunity to put Nicolas Cage in a movie and, for whatever reason, chooses not to put Nicolas Cage in the movie. Such actions display clear moral weakness and artistic cowardice. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest thy codpiece, and may thy arms be too short to scratch.

Notes

• This note is, I hope obviously, not serious. The Death Penalty note is.